


Tony the Belgian Malinois

by orphan_account



Series: Boof Avengers Assemble (dog!avengers) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dog!Tony, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Multi, Multi pairings?, Steve the sighing dad, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tony has favorites, at all, dog!avengers, it's the hierarchy, kind of, not accurate science, other avengers mb?, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: *** currently on hiatusAlright, before fingers are pointed. This is not Tony's fault. Okay, maybe a little... 50/50 because Bruce helped him. Okay it was his idea, so maybe  60/40. 70/30 for all of the parts and whatnot. Okay it was his idea, his parts and his lab so it was definitely mostly his fault but this was definitely not intentional. " 'Because science' is not a valid reason to just create a matter transformer Tony! And neither is 'because why not', or 'because we can'. Stop dragging Bruce into these sorts of things." And the greatest thing is that Tony can't even speak for himself. Or at all. Because you know, he's a fucking dog!





	1. A Stark Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a quick get to know the gang thing I guess? I try to fit how they work together a bit in here but it's also basically the precursor to Tony's adventures as a dog. 
> 
> Ah, good times. This'll be a fun story. 
> 
> (Also a side note, I have no idea how science works and I pulled everything that's said out of my ass...
> 
> I'm actually proud of myself for getting this done.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Tony Stark has been blamed for many things in his life. Some things he totally did do and he's already apologized for them alright? He's paid his dues, penance, whatever. Most of the time however, it's totally not his fault... Entirely...

 

This little 'stunt' isn't even that big a deal for anyone else so why is _he_ getting his ass handed to him in this little intervention circle or whatever?

 

Alright, before fingers are pointed. This is _not_ Tony's fault. Okay, maybe a little... 50/50 because Bruce helped him. Okay it was his idea, so maybe  60/40. 70/30 for all of the parts and whatnot. Okay it was his idea, his parts and his lab so it was definitely mostly his fault but this was definitely _not_ intentional.

 

" 'Because science' is not a valid reason to just create a matter transformer Tony! And neither is 'because why not', or 'because we can'. Stop dragging Bruce into these sorts of things."

 

And the greatest thing is that Tony can't even speak for himself. Or at all. Because you know, he's a fucking dog!

 

* * *

 

 

_**39 hours ago...**_

 

 

"Brucie-bear!"

 

"Oh god, please no," The scientist muttered to himself. He was finally finished with his latest experiment and he just wanted some tea and to head to bed after a 47 hour binge.

 

It's his own fault for choosing the team kitchen at nine in the morning. Tony seemed well rested surprisingly, the asshole.

 

"I need your help with something Big Green, c'mon, let's go. Time for the science bros to go to work and have fun and maybe blow stuff up. Don't give me that look! It's a very hard maybe."

 

"How would you know if I gave you a look with your back to me?"

 

Tony shrugs and continues fixing up a coffee for himself with his favorite 'Don't forget to be awesome' mug, "I think I have a sixth sense which lets me realize if someone's giving me the general 'I'm disappointed in you Stark' look. So far I've been proven correct."

 

"Ahuh. So which number of coffee is that for you today?"

 

"It's my first actually, I just woke up, Seven solid hours baby. Twice the normal amount so I'm a little disoriented in all honesty."

 

"Not anymore. You just _inhaled_ all of it. You ever think about cutting back a little?" Bruce could handle plenty of things but watching his friend down at least 12 ounces of coffee in five seconds and refilling it in half the time was pushing it. It had to be scalding hot for fuck's sake, how was this man still alive?

 

"Now why would I do that?"

 

"If you promise to cut back I'll skip down to your lab with you and we'll do whatever you wanted to do." He replied while sipping at his perfectly made tea, thank you very much.

 

"Will we skip down hand in hand?" With the added eyebrow wiggle Bruce couldn't help but smirk over the lip of his cup.

 

"Is that a yes?"

 

"Ugh, fine. I'll cut back, but you owe me one. Seriously, the things I do for you people." Surprisingly Tony put his half empty mug on the counter top and strode over to Bruce reaching his hand out expectantly while grinning and making grabby hands. "C'mon Bruce, we had a deal."

 

Bruce just shrugged and looked away, "I never heard the words 'I promise' so I think I'll be keeping my hands to myself for a while." Tony nearly balked but decided to smirk instead.

 

"What, my word of honor not good enough for you?" At a raised brow he actually sighed, "Jesus, you're killing me here Bruce, fine I _promise_ to cut back on the coffee, now skip with me down to the lab."

 

"Well when you say it so _nicely_ , let's get to it then, I want to go to bed."

 

* * *

 

 

**_38 hours and 32 minutes ago..._ **

 

 

 

"C'mon Bruce, it'll be fun!"

 

"Tony, 'because it'll be fun' isn't a good enough excuse to do something. Especially with something that's still only theory-"

 

"Which is why _we're_ going to make it!" Tony gripped both of the scientist's arms and looked him dead in the eye. "Please Bruce I just-" he closed his eyes as if in pain and looked away and for a moment, Bruce thought that Tony would give an imperative reason for such a devices existence. He'd be all for saving some form of energy other than with reactor tech or all that resource could go to less privileged areas of the world.

 

Maybe...

 

"I'm just so _bored_ ," And there it is, honestly, how does this man's mind function again? Maybe it was all the caffeine Bruce just had him cut down on.

 

"This is why we can't have nice things Tony, you say things like that and everyone backs out of the room in fear,"

 

" _Please_ Bruce? There's plenty of things we'll be able to do with it when it's done, but right now I just gotta do _something,_ "

 

"So I have a choice in the matter?"

 

"Either you help me or you can go to bed and I'll be left to my own devices. My _incredibly bored_ own devices, in a lab filled with things that could go boom whenever. It all kinda depends on just how _bored_ the person in charge of them is,"

 

Bruce just slumped in his friends hold and looked to the ground, "You're such an asshole when it comes to guilt tripping you know that right? But when things go wrong-"

 

"If,"

 

"No. When Tony. I know what I'm saying despite being awake for the past two days." The billionaire actually had the gall to pout. "When things go wrong, I'm 100% blaming you."

 

"Agreed, now lets build this shit and just go nuts. Dum-ee! You! Get me my stuff. Jarvis get some tunes going. We're doing science and need to be entertained."

 

"Of course sir, Science Bros Playlist has been selected,"

 

"Atta boy Jarv."

 

Bruce couldn't help the somehow fond sigh from escaping his lips.

 

* * *

 

 

_**17 hours and 42 minutes ago...** _

 

 

 

After a few, possibly dozen or so hours, Bruce was incredibly into the project and was actually looking forward to finishing it. If only him and Tony would find common ground on how it should work.

 

"Come on green-bean! It should use gamma waves to break the matter down then we can piece it back together with the fusion drive."

 

"Gamma waves are too large Tony. I think we all know who's the expert on gamma radiation right?" An indignant huff resonated from under the metal framework of their current project. "Tony, please, instead of gamma can we please just use sonic and keep the fusion drive? Just up the power for the fusion process to make up for residual acclimation of the particles."

 

Tony was peeking up from under the latest installed frame of metal.

 

"Ugh, but that's so-"

 

"I swear if you say boring I will drop this thing on you."

 

"Alright fine, we'll do it your way," Tony wormed his way back under the base of the instrument and went back to soldering it together. He added quietly. "Buzzkill,"

 

"You'll thank me later Tony."

 

"Ahuh, sure."

 

* * *

 

**_12 hours and 12 minutes ago..._ **

 

 

 "Anyone seen our resident scientists?" Clint called out while striding into the kitchen. He made a beeline for the fridge only to have an orange hit him in the back of the head. He whipped his head around to glare at the guilty party and found Natasha filing her nails at the counter.

 

"Eat something healthy before you go for the junk food Clint. You need to at least _pretend_ you're a functional individual. Also eat light. Thor said he found 'the greatest sustenance in Midgard' and he'll be bringing it over in a few hours anyway."

 

"But I'm _starving,_ " The archer whined. He was only going to polish off the leftover pizza slices from a couple nights ago, was that such a crime?

 

Steve was sat at the other end of the counter tapping his pencil against the tabletop with one hand and shading his drawing with the other. Looked like he was working on it for a while with the amount of pencil shavings surrounding him. "Answering your earlier question, I haven't seen them in a couple days and if they're not up for dinner I'll drag them here myself. Who knows how lost they can get in their work when they're focused." 

 

 Clint nodded and picked up the orange from the ground and started peeling it, "They can go for a week I think is the longest. Nat? You were assigned to Tony before for evaluation. You got a record or something for the guy?"

 

The redhead scoffed, finished 'fixing' her already perfect nails. "I wasn't in the same room with him ever Barton, plus if I had to guess, which I admit I am at this point, I'd say a week and a half for Tony. The longest any known human being has gone without sleep is 11 days, and that's with intent. He could pull it off easily I'm sure."

 

"Let's _not_ talk about those two's sleeping habits please?" Steve sighed from the other end of the counter.

 

"Dang, I almost forgot Captain Mother Hen was here. No offense man."

 

"I'm not a mother hen."

 

"That's hilarious," Clint drawled. "You threatened to drag them up here for dinner in a few hours."

 

"They never _eat_ anything Barton! Plus with how long they work and no substantial nutrition-"

 

"Mother hen mode activated-"

 

" _Shut up_!" 

 

* * *

 

  _ **9**_ _ **hours ago...**_

 

 

"When was the last time either of you ate something?"

 

"Hey! There he is! How've you been Capsicle?" Tony leaned against his desk with his arms crossed and a large yet tired grin plastered on his face.

 

"Dandy, now answer the question Tony." The man sulks for all of a second and opens his mouth to say something witty when-

 

"Come on Tony, we've been down here a while, let's head up and eat."

 

"It can't have been that long. J?"

 

"According to my archives Sir, you and Dr. Banner have been working on your most recent project for over 30 hours. And the last substantial nourishment either of you received was 14 hours ago when you sent Dum-ee to fetch leftover pizza from the main kitchen."

 

Bruce just groans and thumps his head against the table and mumbles, "Four days. I need sleep."

 

"Well, shit. Okay fine, we'll be up in a minute."

 

"See, you say that but you'll just distract yourself again so I'm here to make sure you actually come upstairs. Let's go, Thor brought Italian. Apparently lasagna is the greatest food he's ever had."

 

"Sounds like no one's given the big guy a brownie yet." Tony's eyes go wide for a moment before staring Steve down. "Don't feed him brownies yet. Feed them to him when he's not in the tower, he might break something he's so happy. I can only afford so much demi-god insurance Steve."

 

"I'm sure. Now come on, food for the scientists. You get your own boxes."

 

"Oh well that just settles everything come on Bru-" The man was already gone, "When the fuck-"

 

"Bruce can really move when he wants food." The captain looked to the stairs with his arms crossed and turned back to Tony with a withering glare, "14 hours? Really Tony?"

 

"Please not another lecture about my lack of self-preservation. I'm tired." Tony glides past the super-soldier and tosses over his shoulder, "You coming or what Ice Cap?"

 

Steve sighed and moved to follow up the stairs. "Will you ever give up on the ice metaphors?" In just four strides he caught up to the genius.

 

"Maybe when I'm dead, or Hell _freezes_ over."

 

"Very original," A kind smirk marring the soldier's lips as he glanced at Tony.

 

"Oh I just get the _chills_ when you give me that look Cap," He shivered for effect and continued, " _Icy_ you don't appreciate these works of verbal art. _Snow freezin'_ to be upset. I worked so _frigid_ hard on these."

 

"Tony leave the man alone," Natasha scolded from her place at the table, handing Bruce a box of ravioli, though it seemed he already finished his own.

 

"No keep going! How many of those do you got metal head? I gotta know." Clint called from his perch on the counter, feet planted on the stool in front of him.

 

"Enough to get me through even the most _glacial_ of conversations." Tony replied easily. Accepting his proffered box of lasagna and breadsticks from the resident bird and took a seat at the head of the table and propping his feet up.

 

"So what are you nerds working on anyway?" Clint questioned around a mouthful of food.

 

"It's a surprise, and no it's not new arrows for you." An enraged squawk and a glare at the genius left him absolutely grinning.

 

"Bruce you'll tell me right?" Clint pouted to the other man, who simply gave a shrug and went back to eating. "Fine. Steve? What are they working on?"

 

Steve just sighs and pokes at his own food, "Clint, I just figured out keywords on google, you think I even have an idea of what they do down there?"

 

"What if the thing blows up though? Mother hen mode needs to activate again to keep the tower safe."

 

Tony just glares at the archer and states, "It's not going to blow up Feathers. Now eat your dinner before you never get the chance to find out what it does when we're done."

 

"Stark is right brother Barton," A huge ass hand slaps the center of Clint's back and he almost chokes on his food. "We must trust our companions to excel in their professions while we indulge in the dish known as lasagna! Then we must continue the merriment with brownies!" Tony actually chokes on his breadstick and his eyes are blown impossibly wide. "Are you well my friend?" Thor tilts his head and examines Tony across the way.

 

"Who told you about brownies, Point-break?" Tony chugs down the water Steve tossed him. "Was it Darcy? I bet it was Darcy."

 

"No, it was Natasha who gave me my first. I must say it was fantastic!" Tony sends a glare across the table to Natasha who glares right back.

 

"Problem Tony? Plus it's not like there weren't already consequences, he ate the whole tray in ten minutes."

 

"And I've retrieved more, fear not. I do apologize, I was not aware a serving was meant to be so small."

 

Natasha just rolls her eyes and grins, "It's no trouble Thor, I got my share before you finished it off."

 

"When the hell did you make brownies Nat? And why wasn't I informed?" Clint's pouting again.

 

"This morning, before Thor decided he was bringing dinner tonight. And thank you Thor, it's delicious," A choir of agreement proceeds and Tony's already standing and moving to the sink.

 

"Well this was fun but I'm heading back down-" A hand shoots out and pulls Tony into a chair beside the figure. The genius glowers at the blond sat beside him. "Gee Cap, that was pretty _cold_."

 

"You're staying until dessert is over, you've been down there for over a day."

 

"Demanding today aren't we?"

 

* * *

 

  _ **7 hours and 40 seconds ago...**_

 

 

"Alright Brucie let's do this... Bruce you good?" Tony looked over to his friend and was immediately concerned.

 

"Ugh, I think I ate too much."

 

"I swear to God if you puke down here, okay! Okay! Walk over here, come on." He grabbed Bruce by the bicep and led him to the couch and told Dum-ee to grab a trashcan from somewhere. "Lay down and take these,"

 

"This is migraine medication Tony-"

 

"Take them or suffer, your call," Bruce takes the pills and waits for the medicine to make him throw up but it doesn't, surprisingly. "Great, now go to sleep, I'll drag you upstairs later, let your stomach settle and all that." He grabbed his old gray throw from the back of the couch and laid it over his friend.

 

Bruce nods off pretty soon after, stomach sated and sleep beckoning from long hours. As Tony goes to stand up something taps his leg and Tony just groans.

 

" _Trashcan_ not  _fire extinguisher_  Dum-ee, you're going back to MIT I swear." Dum-ee just beeped sadly and lowered to the ground.

 

* * *

 

 

_**5 hours and 3 minutes ago...** _

 

 

Bruce was awoken by a loud curse and a clank of metal. He squinted at his surroundings and found Tony Stark shaking his hand out and heading to another corner of the lab.

 

"You 'kay?" Bruce called after the man. Totally worth it by how Tony shock jumped before sighing with relief.

 

"Jesus Christ I forgot you were down here for a second, I'm fine the drive just poked me, okay, so, Bruce? Brucie-bear. I might have worked out a few kinks but just to be safe so far, let's add a resonator to shift the matter back to it's original structural sequence when we use it give it a few hours to shift and all that good stuff. Just to make sure we don't horribly fuck up. You know me, I love a good safety protocol."

 

"Well you've been workin' hard..." Bruce trailed off and found the machine they'd been working on nearly patched with the individual components him and his partner in crime had constructed. It was a thing of beauty that's for sure.

 

"That's me, all work and no play, actually that's a fucking lie, this has all been mostly play, but now I wanna see this baby grow up. We start small, I'm thinking just an apple or something and see how it goes from there on the trial run later."

 

"I'll help with the resonator then," Bruce shifted the blanket away and was about to stand when Tony crossed the room in what must have been record time before he halted the scientist's progress.

 

"You lay back down bud, I trust your mind more when it's been awake for days rather than asleep for not even two hours. I'll handle it, you just catch up when you're all happy and not pukey-feeling, you still look green and not in a muscly, super-charged way." Just then the room shifted for Bruce and he laid back down to cover his eyes. Dizziness then, he's in bad shape.

 

"Holy shit. Okay, fine. I'm never staying up this long again. I swear."

 

"Good to hear it. I'll try to keep it down yeah?"

 

 "Hmmm," And he was gone again.

 

 

* * *

 

  _ **1 hour and 5 minutes ago...**_

 

 Alright, Tony acknowledges that this might get him yelled at but he's been working on this for nearly two whole days and dammit he wants to try it.

 

That being said, the Stark may, or may not, have, maybe, changed out the sonic wave generator for a gamma ray stream. The sonic waves wouldn't be able to bypass with the resonator Tony managed to create in only a few hours and the gamma rays could proceed through and still be altered with the fusion drive to strip matter and piece it back together.

 

In theory...

 

You know what, Tony Stark does not back down from a challenge and this is something he wants to see done. So he finished unscrewing the last bolt holding the sonic wave generator in place and yanked it out.

 

Quietly though, Bruce was still asleep. He had a bit more work to do before he could test it, but so what? He was seeing this through to the end dammit.

 

And maybe he could gloat when the gamma he suggested worked better than the sonic.

 

So, win-win.

 

* * *

 

 

  **10** _ **minutes ago...** _

 

 _"Fuck that hurt. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Ow!"_   Well Bruce is up, he looks kinda scared, maybe a little green, uh-oh. Calm him down. _"Bruce it's okay, I've got it, just a little mishap with the switch... Beam ricocheted or something we'll work on it later... Why are you looking at me like that?"_

 

"...Tony?" Bruce stepped forward into Tony's space and crouched down hand stretched out hesitantly, "That you?"

 

_"Yeah it's me, Bruce you feeling okay?"_

 

"Nod if it's you Tony seriously I'm honestly a little scared right now."  So despite the weird as fuck request Tony nod even though he's been giving verbal answers this whole time...

 

Only to have a weight shift on his head...

 

What in the fu-

 

"I'm calling down the team, Thor preferably, what the hell did you _do Tony_?" Tony scrambles to stand and talk him down. "Jarvis wake the team up for me?"

 

"Of course Doctor,"

 

" _No Jarvis it's fine!"_ And Tony heard it. Not his voice, but barking.

 

He was fucking barking! He looked down to himself, maybe just looking for that blue glow embedded in his chest.

 

There was fur. No blue arc reactor, no AC/DC shirt he'd been wearing. It was fur.

 

 _Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic._ He hobbled his way over to a window of the lab. _Don't panic. Don't - panic! Panic! PANIC!_ Tony caught sight of his faint reflection and no one should judge him for his reaction.

 

 

While Tony was absolutely having a completely normal reaction to this, the sleepy Avengers filed in to the lab. Natasha asked The Doctor what he needed at such an ungodly hour when Clint brightened way the fuck up and rushed to the other side of the room.

 

"Clint what the hell-"

 

"Dog!" Was his immediate reply as he crouched down and placed his hands on either side of the dog's face. "You're just bestest puppy ever." he began cooing. "Watcha doin' here boy? Are you the surprise? Did Bruce and Tony get you for us?"

 

 Tony halted all movement and just stared Clint down. Meanwhile Bruce just sighed and was explaining to everyone else what he believed happened.

 

"Look I don't know for sure, okay? I woke up to barking and found Tony as a dog, I think the matter transformer went off by accident when he was working on it."

 

"Wait, wait. Wait." Steve sighs and scrubs his face, apparently trying to dissipate sleepiness to pay more attention, "Matter transformer? What the hell is that?"

 

"Well it was only theory, but we wanted to make it not theory, because science and whatnot-"

 

" _'because science?'_ " Steve sighs again, "So this was Tony's idea?" The man turned to the dog and started off, " 'Because science' is not a valid reason to just create a matter transformer Tony! And neither is 'because why not', or 'because we can'. Stop dragging Bruce into these sorts of things."

 

Clint pulled Tony to his chest and glared at Steve, "Don't you hurt the pupper's feelings! I'm sure it's not his fault." He turned to look back at Tony and scratched behind his ears, "Plus he's just the handsomest boy in the room isn't he? Yes he is. Yes he is!"

 

 Apparently dog instinct was taking over because Tony couldn't help smiling and wagging his tail. It's true isn't it? He is the handsomest one in the room. Clint wouldn't lie to him. Plus the petting felt amazing.

 

Clint's his new favorite.

 

Natasha walked behind her partner and hauled him off the floor forcing Clint to whine from not being able to pet the dog anymore. Tony whining along with him and glaring at the redhead.

 

Natasha was definitely not his favorite. Add her to the list along with Steve who apparently thought he was _so_ intimidating in sweats and a somehow loose long sleeve shirt.

 

 So far Bruce was on his be nice to list, as was Thor, although he didn't see the god in the lab anywhere. Where'd he go off to? Maybe he was lost. Tony better go find him and bring him home.

 

"So far he's just been barking or whining or just dog speak I guess, so I asked him if he'd just nod if he was Tony and he did, so far that's the only effective communication we have."

 

"Oh that's wonderful," Natasha murmured and rubbed at her eyes.

 

"Where ya goin' buddy?" At Clint's question everyone looked back to Tony who was making his way to the stairs but halted immediately with his front paw raised. He let out probably the most heartbreaking whine ever and looked back to the stairs, ears pushed back on his head."Something wrong?"

 

" _Everything's wrong you asshole! I'm a dog for fuck's sake! What else could go wrong? Where's Thor anyway? Are you people not concerned about him_ at all? _"_

 

"Damn, he's mad. Can't be saying all that nice of things..." Clint muttered.

 

"It's too early for this. We'll regroup in the morning, 0800, and figure this out. Agreed?" A mumble of confirmation later and Steve made for the entrance to the lab sighing as he went. "Someone keep an eye on Tony. We don't know what the matter thing did to him entirely."

 

"I'll do it!" Clint literally shouted and raised his hand and Natasha just pulled his hand out of the air and placed it at his side.

 

"Clint no offense but I feel like you won't get any sleep now that you have a dog. It's not even a normal dog, it's Stark."

 

"Oh come on Tasha!" A quirked eyebrow and he just sighed in response. "Oh! How about rock paper scissors? Please? That always works!"

 

"Really?" Bruce questioned. Honestly, how has he survived this long with these people?

 

"Oh fine. Come on Bruce put 'em up."

 

"Earth's mightiest heroes," Bruce grumbled under his breath, "Using rock, paper, scissors to see who watches a dog."

 

"Alright, rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed can you maybe leave a kudos or comment just so I know if people want more of this? 
> 
> It helps my self esteem, AND I get more writing done sooner.
> 
> Love ya'll!


	2. Nat the Cat and Tony's a Brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this out sooner but drama at work :/
> 
> Alrighty, some fun, fun times ahead. 
> 
> -"betrayal"  
> -cuddles  
> -pancakes  
> -and a surprise visitor :D
> 
> I might put a poll up to see if people want Tony to wind up with someone, because I'm serious about making this a series, and Tony needs all the love imo. How exciting :3

Clint won...

 

He regrets everything.

 

"Tony please," Clint whined and buried his face in his pillow, "I just want to sleep,"

 

 _"Let me go to sleep in my own room, then we'll talk!"_ Tony continues pacing around the room, barking and whining. He futilely scratches at the door, again, with no results. _"Oh my God! Clint! Let me out already!"_ Tony jumps up on the archer's bed and paws at the covers. The man growls from underneath the bedding and glares at the dog behind him. " _Just open the door Legolas and this can all be over!"_ Tony jumps onto the man's back and he'd finally had enough.

 

"That's it! Fine!" Just when Tony was about to cheer in sweet victory, Clint does something he was definitely not expecting. He wraps his arms around Tony. While ' _does not compute'_ flashes repeatedly in his mind's eye, his courier stand from the bed in a determined stride. "Jarvis. Door. Now."

 

"Of course Agent Barton," The AI answers while obeying the command.

 

"I swear to fucking God. Bruce lost on purpose." He mumbles to himself as Tony was still processing what in the actual hell was happening to him. "Fucking asshole. You know what? Here's what we're gonna do." Clint spins 90 degrees and heads down the adjoining hallway. The direction _not_ going to Tony's room.

 

" _You fucking dick! Take me to my room or I swear you'll never get any arrows from me ever again!"_ The dog starts squirming in his captor's hold, causing the man to grunt and curse at the animal.

 

"Hold still man, pretty soon you won't be my problem." They arrive in front of a door and Tony freezes in fear.

 

He slowly pans his head to the archer and growls out. " _Don't you fucking dare,"_

 

"Jarvis, open the door," Clint calls to the ceiling.

 

"...I'm not sure that is wise sir." The AI seems concerned but not for his creator.

 

"Jarvis," Clint glares at the ceiling and steps even closer to the door. "I can open it myself you know. I'm not locked out of this room."

 

There's a long pause from the AI before a click is heard in front of the duo. "As you wish sir." The door opens silently.

 

 _"Fucking traitor,"_ Tony growls and is tossed a half second later into the room. He yelps on his way down and the door slams closed behind him. He immediately scratches at it before whining quietly, " _Jarv open the fucking door!"_ Apparently dog instinct starts taking over when being driven by fear because Tony starts sniffing under the door for the man who tossed him in here. _"Clint get back here! You're not my favorite anymore!You could've just tossed me out of your room and that'd be it!"_

 

Fuck his heart is pounding right now, and isn't that a weird feeling? Without being compressed by the reactor, he can actually feel it against his ribs. As an added bonus his lungs can expand properly, for a dog anyway.

 

He continues scratching at the door before he hears a small creak behind him. Something guaranteed to never have been heard if he were still human. He freezes, whining low in his throat and lowering his ears on his head, because this is it. he's a dead man. Or dog. Whatever. He hunches in on himself before curling into a ball in front of the door.

 

"Stark?" The owner of the room calls out, there's a shadowy figure in the nearby doorway. Backlit by the light in the other room, the figure steps forward and halts, sighing. "Tony come here." The dog doesn't move, " _Now._ "

 

 _"Fuck. Me."_ He shifts up on all fours and slowly makes his way to the other side of the room. Tail tucked firmly between his legs, he gives, what he hopes, is the greatest set of puppy dog eyes in the history of ever.

 

Natasha crouches down and scratches at the scruff on Tony's neck.

 

"I'm not mad at you Tony. I'll beat him up for you during sparring tomorrow. Good?" Tony's tongue just lulls out of his head and his eyes are closed. This feels way too nice... "I'm sure you just want to go back to your room, but we want to be around in case anything else happens." Tony just huffs and pulls back pouting. "Come on, a few more hours and you might be able to wander around as you please."

 

Natasha stands and moves back to her room, Tony cautiously following after. The assassin climbs into bed and pulls the covers over herself. There's no movement afterwards and she sighs aloud. Lifting her head up, she finds Tony sitting in the doorway.

 

"I'm not making you sleep on the floor Tony. Get up here before I change my mind." He shuffles over quickly and hops up. He tries to find the comfiest spot and lays down midway up the bed. Natasha reaches over and flicks off the lights, room descending into darkness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

An hour later Tony wakes to muffled distressed whimpers. He perks up instantly and turns his head to get a better look at his teammate. She's shifted to her side, right arm under the pillow and left placed in front of her. She's facing him and the doorway. Natasha isn't thrashing like in the movies, trying to escape whatever her nightmare seems to have conjured up. There's only the quiet cries.

 

Dog instinct definitely takes over, because Tony finds himself worming under the assassin's arm and placing his head underneath hers. _Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. Please._

 

Natasha doesn't kill him.

 

She doesn't even wake up.

 

But the crying stops.

 

And her arm tightens around him.

 

He doesn't complain.

 

* * *

 

 

 The next time Tony wakes, there's a hand running through the fur on his side. He turns his head around and spots Natasha. She's still laying down but she's staring at her hand, carding her fingers through the fine fur. Tony's surprised to find that she gets bedhead. He just kinda figured it was perfect all the time.

 

She finally looks at him, and he finally sees past the mask of no emotion. It's all in the eyes.

 

"Thank you." It's so sincere, and there's a pause, "Try and use this for blackmail ever and I'll skin you."

 

 _There it is._ He just licks at her hand and senses her startle. _Isn't that normal? To reassure someone? He's not suicidal enough. Or rude to use something like nightmares against someone. He's had too many of his own to even_ consider _doing something like that._

 

"I think you're acting more like a dog Tony." She honestly sounds so concerned it melts his little heart. "Come on, we need to get up and I need to bully Clint for both of us later... and we both need breakfast."

 

With far too much grace to be possible in the morning, she slips from the bed and glides over to the bathroom closing the door behind her. Tony finds himself incredibly bored in mere seconds.

 

That's gotta be a new record.

 

Just as he decides he'll entertain himself by finally seeing what the fuck is in the assassin's room, the bathroom door creaks open and she steps out looking as perfect as ever.

 

How does she even do that? It's not fair.

 

"Come on. Do you think you'll need to eat dog food?"

 

_"Hell fucking no-"_

 

"Don't get snippy with me Stark. It's something I've been thinking about. Human food's preferred by regular dogs but it's recommended they keep up the normal stuff." She pushes the door open and Tony falls into step with her. They make their way through the halls and to the main kitchen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 "Well look who it is," Natasha drawls as Clint stumbles into the kitchen. He halts and immediately tries to 180 out of there but Steve grabs him in the doorway. The Captain hauls him through the threshold by the arm as he digs his heels into the tiled floor. Clint resorts to glaring at the super soldier.

 

He's lost this round.

 

"Are those pancakes for everyone?" Steve questions. He takes a seat at the counter and places Clint next to him. He's looking at the mass of food piled onto two plates across from him. He's still got a hold of the archer's arm while he crosses his arms and grumbles under his breath.

 

"No." She looks behind her, "These are for me and Tony." Steve looks past the island counter and spots Tony sitting right  next to the stove and Natasha, wagging his tail at a rapid rate and panting excitedly. She returns her eyes to Steve, smirking, "If you ask nicely he might share."

 

Clint growls and shifts his eyes to the dog on the other side of the tabletop. "He shouldn't get a say in this. He's a dog. Dogs get dog food and humans get human food. That's the laws of the universe."

 

Steve hears a massive growl from the floor and shifts his eyes only to flinch back. Tony's front paws are on the counter and he is glaring lividly across it to the man he's still got a hold of.

 

Slowly he releases his hold and scoots over a little. "Tony, he's kidding, relax." Bad move. Tony switches the glare on him. Very unsettling.

 

"Tony, leave the boys alone and come eat these," Thank god for Natasha. The dog hops off the counter and runs over to the plate the redhead has placed on the floor. He's easily distracted and the others gathered simply hear the plate scraping across the tile from time to time. Steve lets out a sigh of relief and Natasha walks around the counter with the loaded plate of pancakes.

 

Clint reaches for a pancake and promptly gets his hand smacked with a fork. His jaw drops as he looks at his partner.

 

"None for you, you don't deserve any. Not after that shit you pulled last night." She points the fork directly at her counterpart and narrows her eyes.

 

Steve just lets out a sigh and looks over at Clint, "What happened last night?"

 

 Bruce enters with a sleepy yawn and makes his way over, taking a pancake with his bare hand and taking a huge bite.

 

"Rock, paper, scissors, to see who watched Tony, Clint won." Another bite, "Do we still have syrup?"

 

"Yeah, lower pantry." Natasha gestures

 

"Thank you. So, did you change your mind or what Clint?" Bruce continues.

 

"He wouldn't stop making noise! And I was really tired." Clint defended while pouting about no food.

 

"Well neither of us appreciated it," Natasha states, munching on another helping of pancake. "And if you changed your mind, you didn't have to toss him into _my_ room." Clint shoves his face into his crossed arm on the counter groaning, "Don't do something if you can't handle the consequences Barton."

 

"What do you want me to do? I just want food," he sulks while peeking out from a gap in his arms.

 

"Apologize," She answers with a shrug.

 

He grumbles but turns to face her and says, "Natasha I'm-"

 

"Not to me, birdbrain." She nods over to the dog across the way and Clint moves. What the heck, might as well go all out before Natasha beats his face in.

 

He moves around the island and sits next to Tony, who abruptly stops in his assault on the stack of pancakes and lifts his head to get a good look at who the fuck is bothering him.

 

It's Clint. The fucker. " _Fuck do you want asshole?"_

 

"Tony I'm sorry I tossed you into Nat's room last night. I was tired and you wouldn't shut up."

 

If Tony could, he would be all kinds of an asshole right now. Instead he settles for going back to his food like Clint isn't even there.

 

"Soooo, are we good?" He asks. He looks to Natasha for confirmation and she has a look of utter disapproval. "C'mon! I tried Nat!"

 

"Well looks like we're going about our day like we planned." She nudges Clint a single pancake, "Behave the rest of the day and you get a big dinner," The man huffs but takes his pancake and flees to his room. She turns to the dog who watched the interaction with narrowed eyes. "Operation: Make Clint Cry is a go?"

 

Tony nods.

 

Natasha smirks.

 

"This is why we don't let you two hang out," Bruce states with syrup in one hand and half eaten pancake in the other. "You're both plotters." He points at both of them with the pancake hand, "Terrifying." He looks back to Tony, who is far too smug right now for a dog. "Tony we're going to try some tests in my lab when I'm done with breakfast okay?"

 

Tony's mood plummets.

 

"Don't worry Tony, Clint won't get the coffeemaker to work, I took care of it."

 

Bruce shakes his head again, "Terrifying, terrifying plotters."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 "So you've still got your own brain," A nod. "Natasha says you behaved like a dog when your mood shifted or something abnormal happened, true?" A nod. "Can't believe I'm saying this but I kinda miss you talking," A toothy grin, "Shut it," Tony closes his mouth but his tail is betraying his mirth. "You placed the resonator last night, right?" A nod. A sigh of relief, "Oh thank god, it shouldn't be permanent. So the sonic wave generator wasn't as stable as it should've been." Tony's tail stops wagging and his ears are back. "Tony..." A light bulb goes of in the doctor's head. "Tony you didn't."

 

" _Tony did..."_ Bruce rushes over to the device and rips off a loose sheet of metal, " _Please don't go green. Please don't go green,_ " Bruce braces himself and simply glares over at Tony.

 

"Tony. Why?"

 

" _'m sorry Bruce,_ " The man sighs and walks over to the dog patting his head. Tony's less stiff as a result.

 

"So gamma?" A nod, a sigh, "I really fucking hate you," There's no real heat to it, just exasperation. Tony leans over and licks his hand. Totally worth it, Bruce jumps about a foot in the air. "I looked around last night and called, Thor went to see Jane last night, he said he'll be back here in a couple days if it still hasn't worn off. I'm paraphrasing here, I can't pull off Shakespearean, we both know it."

 

Bruce moves across the lab and rifles through his stuff, pulling a syringe and making his way over, Tony's hackles rise and he growls at his companion. 

 

"Tony, we gotta make sure it didn't mess with anything else," He lets out a low growl as Bruce advances, "Tony, just one and done okay? Making sure there's no residual gamma left over. You won't even feel anything."

 

Tony narrows his eyes but loosens up, " _If you're lying I'm going to tear this lab apart while you're asleep tonight."_

 

"Yes, very threatening, now relax, or I'm getting caught in a lie," Tony feels a pinch but less so than if he probably didn't have thicker skin, huh. "Alright, done," Bruce dabs the place on Tony's arm with a cotton swab and moves over to his table, "You can leave now, I'll let you know if I find any-" He's already gone, "thing."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"He's a German Shepherd. Ow! Fuck, Nat!"

 

"He's not a German Shepherd. If he was, he'd stand differently." She throws another punch which connects with Clint's side as she glides away.

 

"I'm feeling so abused right n _OW_! Tash!" She smirks as she stands, her leg still extended after knocking Clint on his ass for the sixth time in only half an hour and moves over to her water bottle. She takes a large swig as the resident captain makes his way into the gym. "Rogers! Help! She's breaking me."

 

"She breaks everyone. What makes you the exception?" He snarks easily as he lifts a punching bag from the ground and makes his way to the support chains.

 

"Is _everyone_ against me today?"

 

"Yes," The other two occupants reply simultaneously. Clint hates his life. Before he can reply cheekily a new voice joins the fray.

 

"Apologies for the interruption," Jarvis starts, "However, Sir seems to be distressed."

 

"I'll check on him," Steve sighs as he untapes the hands he just finished taping. Great timing Stark, as usual.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Tony doesn't remember, but he had something _really_ fucking important to do. Now what the _fuck was it._ Tony paces the commons living room, and occasionally scratches at the floor. He eventually settles and starts idly chewing something, he's lost trying to remember when all of a sudden-

 

"Tony no!"

 

At the sound of his name he startles and realizes what he was chewing on, the wooden table in the center of the room. Gross. A hand is on his back and he hits his head on the table. Fucking _ow_. He glares at whoever just caused all of that and finds a worried Captain America.

 

"Sorry. Did you even realize you were doing it?" The glare intensifies. "Right I'll take it as a no, Bruce filled me in a bit when I went to see him a few minutes ago." Steve takes a seat across from a pissed looking dog. "Sorry again, Jarvis said you were distressed, so why are you worried?" A huff of breath is his reply. "Right, sorry. Plenty to be worried about."

 

 _"Chill with the apologies Cap, seriously, not like it's your fault,"_ Tony grumbles, placing his head on his front paws and looking away. Steve hesitantly reaches over and strokes the top of Tony's head, causing the dog's eyes to shut as he slowly exhales and opens his eyes. " _What the fuck am I forgetting?"_

 

...

 

"Sir, Colonel Rhodes is on his way up-"

 

" _Rhodey!"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos mb? I REALLY appreciate them!
> 
>  
> 
> Also if there's Stony lovers out there, I'm working on a one-shot for them... :)


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